Haha, guess what guys...I got a call from Eric. Wow, I need to get his number outta my phone, ASAP. Wonder how he's doing? Wonder how she's doing? Hmm...all I have to say to them is..."KICK ROCKS LOVES<3"
I wanted to go to my church's dodgeball tournament tonight, but sadly I haven't a ride there, my parents are outta town, and of course no one can swing by and pick me up...BOO. So I'll just spend my Friday night relaxing, I have had a bad migrane on and off today, so I guess staying in where it's quiet is best, still wanted to go though...*pout*
Catch you later,
Nik.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Decisions, decisions...
I was doing some thinking, (for once in my life...). But, in all seriousness, I've come to the conclusion that I have a very very difficult time making decisions. I'm sure some do and some don't, but I have a very hard time choosing things that I want to do, people I want to see, things I want to eat, the type of music I want to listen to, the type of people I want to surround myself with...wait no, scratch that, I have no problem choosing who I want to surround myself with, that's an easy choice to make. Though it seems like everything else, even little things seem to leave me flustered. However, the decision I'm currently pondering...this decision that I may or may not make...has the ability to change my life...forever. And no, I'm not making it more dramatic than need be, it really will change my life, if I pick a certain option. Part of me wants it, but part of me doesn't, part of me doesn't want to grow up so fast, but another part is yearning to become more mature, and step it up, part of me is ready to deal with the repercussions (if I take a certain option), while the other part knows I'm nowhere near ready to deal with them; part of me wants to make my dreams come true, right here, right now, but the other part knows good and well, that if things go wrong, all my dreams and aspirations will come to a skirting halt. Decisions, decisions, what to do, what to do. Luckily for me, I have time to come to a decision, however, I myself, would like to come to a decision before I'm presented with that pressing question again; before I have to either take action, or sit back and just let things happen...
Wondering what to do,
Nik.
Wondering what to do,
Nik.
Friday, July 24, 2009
The 411: 7/24/09
Hey there! Sorry I haven't been blogging as much, I've been on the move! Not long ago, I hung out with the best mentor in the world *insert drum roll*...ALANA! I stayed on campus with her for a few days, climbed trees, and FLEW; well not really it was more of zip lining, but you get the picture.
After that, I spent the weekend with my grandparents, and than directly from leaving there rode 2 hours to New Jersey to stay a week with my aunt. It was nice, hung with my cousin a lot while we were there, experienced mini golfing for the first time, and got a well needed tennis lesson, and AB workout, ha!
After leaving there Wednesday, I woke up early Thursday morning to head down to Atlantic City with my best friends! Though it rained all day, we did some major shopping, and made a ton of memories I won't soon forget (i.e. "We need to find a 'STARBUCKS', RIGHT NOW!", 'Nicole, I think you should jump over that, and try and catch on to one of those chains!"...)
Which brings me to today...where I'm leaving for VA Beach in a matter of...3 hours?! Well if you want to get technical about it, my mom and I are leaving for Jersey first, than riding down to Virginia with my aunt and uncle either late tonight, or early tomorrow morning. Either way I have yet to pack on thing, and my padre is bringing me to my madre's job in T minus 3 hours?!
But, I just wanted to update you all on my lovely life! I'm defiantly enjoying myself, things couldn't be any better. I mean, really, being surrounded by good friends, loving family, and my bf who wouldn't be happy?
I fear I must be going, have to actually pack now, lol. I'll check in again soon, promise!
Livin' it up,
Nik.
After that, I spent the weekend with my grandparents, and than directly from leaving there rode 2 hours to New Jersey to stay a week with my aunt. It was nice, hung with my cousin a lot while we were there, experienced mini golfing for the first time, and got a well needed tennis lesson, and AB workout, ha!
After leaving there Wednesday, I woke up early Thursday morning to head down to Atlantic City with my best friends! Though it rained all day, we did some major shopping, and made a ton of memories I won't soon forget (i.e. "We need to find a 'STARBUCKS', RIGHT NOW!", 'Nicole, I think you should jump over that, and try and catch on to one of those chains!"...)
Which brings me to today...where I'm leaving for VA Beach in a matter of...3 hours?! Well if you want to get technical about it, my mom and I are leaving for Jersey first, than riding down to Virginia with my aunt and uncle either late tonight, or early tomorrow morning. Either way I have yet to pack on thing, and my padre is bringing me to my madre's job in T minus 3 hours?!
But, I just wanted to update you all on my lovely life! I'm defiantly enjoying myself, things couldn't be any better. I mean, really, being surrounded by good friends, loving family, and my bf who wouldn't be happy?
I fear I must be going, have to actually pack now, lol. I'll check in again soon, promise!
Livin' it up,
Nik.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
FREE HUGS.
You're not too huggy. You're just right.
Your hugs are warm, encouraging, reassuring, and just right.They're always a comfortable length, because you know when it's time to embrace, and when it's time to let go. Hugs are about bonding and friendliness, but they're also about empathy and connection. You have good hug instincts, so you can usually sense if a hug will lift someone's mood or if they're shying away.You probably seize every hug-portunity when you're hanging out with your huggiest friends, but you'll never force a hug on someone who's not feeling it. No matter where you go, or who you're with, your hugs adapt to the situation. You're so good at hugging, you deserve a prize...or a HUG!
Your hugs are warm, encouraging, reassuring, and just right.They're always a comfortable length, because you know when it's time to embrace, and when it's time to let go. Hugs are about bonding and friendliness, but they're also about empathy and connection. You have good hug instincts, so you can usually sense if a hug will lift someone's mood or if they're shying away.You probably seize every hug-portunity when you're hanging out with your huggiest friends, but you'll never force a hug on someone who's not feeling it. No matter where you go, or who you're with, your hugs adapt to the situation. You're so good at hugging, you deserve a prize...or a HUG!
If you're in need of a hug, than I'm your girl!
Arms outstretched,
Nik.
Monday, July 13, 2009
I'm Anxious.
Have you ever felt anxious? But I'm talking about being anxious, but not knowing why in the world you're anxious? That's how I feel right now, even typing this, I'm just feel so jumpy and anxious. Like I'm waiting for something to happen, but have no idea what in the world I'm waiting for. You know what, I think I'm gonna change my URL, I've said this before, I know but I forgot, but now, now I'm going to. Ahh, no I'm not, I don't know what I want. This isn't good, I need to just calm down, and relax. Nothing is wrong, everything is going to be fine. I can't finish this...
Out of it,
Nik.
Out of it,
Nik.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The 411: 7/08/09
Have you ever done a video chat? And not just any ol' video chat, but one with a huge group of people? It is by far one of the funniest things alive, especially if you're apart of it, or when people forget their being filmed and do crazy stuff, it's hilarious I tell you. It was down to Zamar, Anaziaha and I, but I was getting sleepy so I said my goodbyes and hit the X button. I've been doing well though, defiantly enjoying Summer. I've been hanging with friends A LOT. And it's funny because at the start of the Summer I had no plans, and it seems now, I ALWAYS have something to do. Take tomorrow for instance, tomorrow I will be accompanying friends to see a movie and than after Red Robin. And than take Friday, Friday I will be going swimming with the same group of friends (with others meeting us there) and than after going to a party with a completely new group of people! I'm really excited though, I'm never ever bored, lol. My secret lover and I have been talking nonstop, and haha! You guys want all the juicy details don't you? Well ya not gonna get 'em...at least not tonight, way to tired to blog about everything. He's a nice guy though he lives in ATL. We're just good friends, and he and I are okay with that. He listens and understands me, and knows what he's going to do with his life. I'm also glad he's willing to wait, and respect my decisions, he's one of a kind.
I'm beat though, and according to my laptop with only 17% of it's battery remaining...so is it! I'm surprised I'm even able to keep my eyes open right now, lol! I'll catch up with you guys later, promise.
Yawning,
Nik.
I'm beat though, and according to my laptop with only 17% of it's battery remaining...so is it! I'm surprised I'm even able to keep my eyes open right now, lol! I'll catch up with you guys later, promise.
Yawning,
Nik.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Poems from the "Back in the Day".
Happy Happy, Joy Joy
Happiness. What does it really mean? Is it a feeling you get from another person? Is it a feeling you get when you buy something new? Is it a feeling you get from listening to a song? Or is it a feeling you get from inside? What is happiness? Do you know? Because I sure don't. Maybe only certain people "get" happiness. Maybe I'm not one of those "people." Maybe I can't "feel happiness." Maybe I can't "understand happiness" But does this make me "different?" An "outsider?" Because I'd rather not "understand, or feel happiness" then, pretend to "understand and feel it." Wouldn't you?
-NDM-
*Written 10/07/07*
Choose
Sometimes I just want to DIE. To just end it all. "You know how easy that would be?" He whispers to me. "Just a few pills." "Just one shot." "Just one rope. "Yeah, maybe He's right? But maybe He's not? "No, Nicole, don't listen to Him." "He doesn't know what He's talking about." The Other Man says to me. "OH PLEASE! I KNOW YOUR NOT TALKING, YOUR THE ONE WHO PUTS HER THROUGH THOSE HARD TIMES!" He shouts to the Other Man. "But those are to make her stronger, to help her grow. She just needs to hold on, and stand strong, for those trials will soon be over." The Other Man says back. "She can't wait much longer, she's been through enough..right Nicole?" He asks me."Nicole trust me, this all shall pass. "Who do I trust, this Man that speaks of hope? Or Him, the one who speaks of an easy way out? "CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME?!" My mind, it can't take this. This hurt, this killing of my soul, it'd be real easy to just end IT. But this hope, this faith that that Man spoke of sounds hopeful. It would give me something to live for, something to look toward.
"...So Nicole, what will it be?"
-NDM-
*Written 10/04/07*
Need Some Help
Do you need help? Do I need help? Yes? No? So many people need help in so many ways. And so many people can help in so many ways. But do We? No. Instead We go around, hurting, killing, and spoiling people's dreams. Why? Why do We do that, instead of simply helping? That is something I have, and always will wonder. I wonder when We'll change. The sooner the better. "Right?"Or maybe not? Either way, something must happen, someone MUST DO SOMETHING! But then again, nobody cares.
Nobody cares if your hurting.
Nobody cares if your dying.
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares anymore.
-NDM-
*Written 10/03/07*
Hint Hint
People can't seem to get a hint. When I want you to leave me alone, I mean it. And when I need you, I mean that too. But, people seem to get those mixed up. They seem to want to be with me, when I want to be alone. And They leave me alone, when I need Them. Hm. That makes me wonder...Will They ever get it together?
-NDM-
*Written 10/06/07*
Happiness. What does it really mean? Is it a feeling you get from another person? Is it a feeling you get when you buy something new? Is it a feeling you get from listening to a song? Or is it a feeling you get from inside? What is happiness? Do you know? Because I sure don't. Maybe only certain people "get" happiness. Maybe I'm not one of those "people." Maybe I can't "feel happiness." Maybe I can't "understand happiness" But does this make me "different?" An "outsider?" Because I'd rather not "understand, or feel happiness" then, pretend to "understand and feel it." Wouldn't you?
-NDM-
*Written 10/07/07*
Choose
Sometimes I just want to DIE. To just end it all. "You know how easy that would be?" He whispers to me. "Just a few pills." "Just one shot." "Just one rope. "Yeah, maybe He's right? But maybe He's not? "No, Nicole, don't listen to Him." "He doesn't know what He's talking about." The Other Man says to me. "OH PLEASE! I KNOW YOUR NOT TALKING, YOUR THE ONE WHO PUTS HER THROUGH THOSE HARD TIMES!" He shouts to the Other Man. "But those are to make her stronger, to help her grow. She just needs to hold on, and stand strong, for those trials will soon be over." The Other Man says back. "She can't wait much longer, she's been through enough..right Nicole?" He asks me."Nicole trust me, this all shall pass. "Who do I trust, this Man that speaks of hope? Or Him, the one who speaks of an easy way out? "CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME?!" My mind, it can't take this. This hurt, this killing of my soul, it'd be real easy to just end IT. But this hope, this faith that that Man spoke of sounds hopeful. It would give me something to live for, something to look toward.
"...So Nicole, what will it be?"
-NDM-
*Written 10/04/07*
Need Some Help
Do you need help? Do I need help? Yes? No? So many people need help in so many ways. And so many people can help in so many ways. But do We? No. Instead We go around, hurting, killing, and spoiling people's dreams. Why? Why do We do that, instead of simply helping? That is something I have, and always will wonder. I wonder when We'll change. The sooner the better. "Right?"Or maybe not? Either way, something must happen, someone MUST DO SOMETHING! But then again, nobody cares.
Nobody cares if your hurting.
Nobody cares if your dying.
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares anymore.
-NDM-
*Written 10/03/07*
Hint Hint
People can't seem to get a hint. When I want you to leave me alone, I mean it. And when I need you, I mean that too. But, people seem to get those mixed up. They seem to want to be with me, when I want to be alone. And They leave me alone, when I need Them. Hm. That makes me wonder...Will They ever get it together?
-NDM-
*Written 10/06/07*
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