I'm Back!

Hey all you bloggers, I've come out of hiding! Ha ha, just kidding. I've just been a little busy and haven't gotten around to my lovely blog. But I'm back, and hopefully you guys will forgive and forget, lol. That's the story of my life right now, forgiving and forgetting. What's the hardest thing out of the two for you to do? Forgive? Or forget? It's turning out to be the forgetting for me. Remember when I introduced you to Eric? Well, it has to deal with him, and since I haven't transferred any of my other blog entries from my previous site, you don't know much about him or our relationship for that matter. But basically he was my "first love" and they all say you never forget your "first love" and BOY OH BOY, is that right. I'm trying to move on, I really am. And I've forgiven him for saying all those nasty things to me, but knowing I can never speak to him, or shoot him a text every now and then hurts more than I would ever let on to him. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's not the only one to blame for our fallen relationship but I surely didn't ask him to change. It was his fault that he made himself that way. No one told him to do the things he did, or think the thoughts he thought, that was all on him. I simply witnessed it, and when I tried to pull him back from destroying himself, he not only made me stumble, but began pulling me down along with him; back to a place I wasn't willing to revisit at this point in my life. And so, I had to let him go, and he now, is learning to let me go. But enough of Eric, if I'm ever going to get over him, I'm gonna have to stop talking about him, gosh! The "Drama Queen" and I still haven't spoken, and I haven't exactly made the effort to call her, and neither has she. I did hear that her and my ex recently broke up; what a shame. I did call it though, I knew they wouldn't last long, but hey, I call 'em like I see 'em...she'll learn. And speaking of learning, I'm learning now that track is over, that I miss it dearly. I have nothing to do with my life after school now. I just come home, and sit around waiting for something to happen...I don't really do this, but it sure seems that way. I've decided that I'm going to do Winter Track, that's how much I've come to love it. Other than that, I haven't really had anything else going on. However, I did meet this new guy...Jamel. He's a cool dude, I met him though a friend that invitied him and his friend to our church's Teen Night. And the whole night I didn't pay attention to either guy, I was just hanging with my friends, until the end when Jamel was like "Can my friend get your number?" That was the first thing he said to me and I didn't think anything of it, because his friend was hot, and I was like "Let me get his number first, than I'll give mine out", so I wasn't even interested in Jamel. I was actually talking to his friend in the hopes of something happening between the two of us, but than I started talking to Jamel, and things changed. First, he was talking to me to get to one of my friend's numbers, but than he started "spittin' game" to me as they say, and he turned out to be a really nice guy. Though he does one thing that scares me, which is why even though he's asked me out, I haven't said yes. So we're supposed to be hanging out this weekend. Possibly Dorney, maybe just a movie, or the mall, something simple. See guys, I am moving on, slowy...but surely! So basically things have been pretty much uneventful. But I wanted to inform all who maybe reading that I'm still here, and that I'll keep blogging. Shoot, I'll keep blogging even if I never get a single comment, that's how much I love blogging; I don't need anybody to keep me going, never did, never will. Because if that was the case, and I depended on people to help me live my life, I would have been dead, because people can't be trusted...trust me, I'd know.

Love you too,
Nik.