I've never realized how truly rude some people can be. I mean, I know there are some rude people out there, but I never expected to run into someone that was so RUDE. No matter how much I tried to be nice, no matter how much I tried to lighten the mood, things just wouldn't get better. She just wouldn't lighten up. She really cut me deep, I mean I was truly hurt. Even though I've forgiven her, for what's been going on, I was still very hurt. I mean I know she doesn't care about what I have to say, I know my opinion never mattered to her in the first place. However, after I thought and thought about what she said to me, I couldn't find one instance that I did those things. If anything I pushed to much to make things work. Let myself be vunerable for too long, hoping -praying- that all this would just blow over like it always did, that wasn't what GOD had in store though. I know no one's perfect, and I know no one stays in your life forever, but no matter how much you hear that statement, it doesn't sting any less when it happens. Can't say I won't miss her, we did have our good times. But hey, I did what I had to do, I planted the seed, now it's up to her to water it and help it grow. So my dear, I wish you nothing but the best, follow your dreams, and be happy with your new friends!
I honestly feel that GOD is working on me. However, I wonder why I can't stop doing the things I know are wrong; the things that I know GOD hates. I just can't bring myself to show self-control. That is what I lack; I lack the very meaning of having self-control. I need to work on that. And I need to work on trusting others. That's going to be the hardest thing though, because (as I was telling one of my best friends) I'm sick of being hurt by people I know and love. I'm tired of it. Again, I know no one is perfect, I know that I'm not the best person in the world, but I truly try to keep people in my life. I mean seriously.
*SIGH*
Oh well, things can only get better from here. I'm tired, today has been a long day; with church, and Imani's party w/ my girls, I'm beat. I'm going to finish updating my ipod, and I'm gonna call it a night.
Multi-tasking,
Nik.
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