I find myself procrastinating. I'm not sure why, but I can't really bring myself to just focus on one thing. I'm realizing that I have a problem paying attention to anything that severally bores, me.
What I really should be doing at this point in time is my parody for Honors US History, but since I couldn't focus, I decided, what better way is there to get my thoughts and emotions together...but to BLOG! So, here I am...I think I'm just gonna list the things on my mind, than decide what I can deal with or change now, and the other things I can just leave for another time...here goes nothing.
*Navea & Eric; Better left unsaid (just kidding) I'll deal with it now...I sorta feel like you're reading this Eric? Don't think I've forgotten that I gave you my URL when we had that momentary lasp of friendship. Part of me wants to know for sure whether or not you read this. In a way, I'm sorta hoping you do, but than again I'm hoping you don't. Either way it doesn't really matter, cause you'll read it whether I want you to or not, just like you always used to, lol! I have so many questions I want to ask you, which surprises even me, ha. However, I'm never going to ask them, because I don't want to speak to you, ever. It's funny how we'd always say that, yet now it's become reality, crazy. I'm good though, I really am. Just keep your distance, Budd.
*One of my godfathers: Alex & his now dead mother; Alex, I'm so sorry, I know it was unexpected it shocked us all, but things are gonna be alright, we got you. However, I'm basically numb to death now, I have no more feelings toward it, this past year I've gone to more funerals than I ever want to again, I'm just so done with all of it. My grandparents have been gone for almost a year now and I still blame myself, can't seem to get over it, guess that brings me to my next point?
*My Grandparents; You both got sick so suddenly after I left you, I'll always question what would of happened if I'd come back like I had planned; whether it was my fault or not. Bottom line...I miss you guys, you left too soon.
*Danta; We just talked after not speaking to each other for a good week and a half? I understand now that you were on punishment and couldn't contact me, but this is exactly why I didn't want to be in a long distance relationship in the first place. Next time we talk, I'm breaking up with you. I tried to last time, but just didn't seem right, you really need to just let me go, cause I've already cut the rope; fall.
*Ryan; Ah, Ryan. Where have you been for the past 10 years of my life? Right freaking beside me! I've known you since Kindergarten buddy, and now we're in our sophomore year of high school, and I'm just coming to a realization as to how cute you are! I always thought you had a crush on me, and found it cute, but I never had a crush on you...that's all coming to an end. I'm still a little confused about how I feel, but I defiantly know you're a cutie, and have a very nice smile. I know your shy, and that's all good, I like guys that are shy like me, that way nothings forced. I'm gonna make the first move this time, and I'll let things go from there, ha.
*Student Youth Council; Okay, so at first I felt left out that I wasn't apart of the SYC, but now I'm thinking I'm in over my head? A Chaplain, really? I think I may need to reconsider all this, hopefully it's not too late!
*Parody; Alright, it's just you and me, mister parody. I should have been writing you, instead of sitting here blogging, I know. However, I'm gonna need you to cooperate and help me get you finished. Now that my thoughts aren't all jumbled up in my head, I should be able to focus, so after this, you will now have my undivided attention, lol.
Okay, sorry everyone for the extended ranting session, but I really had to get all my thoughts straight and in order. It defiantly worked, I don't feel like everything is overtaking me anymore, it was quick (well maybe not quick), but it helped! If you're ever feeling overwhelmed or just have a lot on your mind, jot somethings down that are irking you. It'll help you vent, and decide what you can fix and deal with now, or things you have to overcome or deal with at a later time.
Well I'm off to actually start my parody for Honors US History, my goal is to be done before 6:30, it's now 5:45...READY, SET, GO!
"Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
-Matthew 6:34
(^^) <-- ain't that the truth?!
Un-jumbled,
Nik.
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